Stepping into the unknown

That’s what everyday feels like these days. It’s both exciting and scary. And it feels exactly like what I am supposed to be doing. That, in itself, is grace. And that grace is not just comforting and reassuring, but my lifeline these last eleven months. Especially to the worry-wart part of me that gets completely wigged out by the fact that there isn’t more paying gigs on the calendar. Not yet anyways. I’m all about affirming these days. Everyday. It keeps me going in the face of fear and this walk of faith that “this”, this not knowing what is around the corner, is mine to do.

And while I can’t see around the corner, I know I am somewhere on that curve. The one that guarantees change, the one that doesn’t know what I will find or discover or create or do.

It’s completely scary and it’s also knowing that all is well. This is the first time in my life where I have decided to call the shots.

Last May, after nearly five months of recuperating from hand surgery where I was not able to teach or play music, I made a decision to give up my Kindermusik studio after almost eleven years of teaching. It was so difficult - I adored teaching, little children, the communities of parents and kids, the laughter and the bonds, witnessing children realize and know they are musical beings. I felt such joy being a partner with parents in this setting.

It was also crystal clear - I was exhausted. And I knew it was time to honor the creative aspects of me that had been feeling ignored for way…too…long.

Let the chips fall where they may. I’m ready. If I’m going to empower others, I must first empower myself. I know that even on the rainy days, respite from the rain really isn’t that far down the road. If it sounds a little bit Pollyanna, bear with me. It’s the walk I know I’m supposed to be on. And I’m on it. ON it! All is well. All will be well. All is well.